My teenagers’ peers often discuss the movie Bruce Almighty, the rock groups Switchfoot and Evanescence, country music, sexy actors, and personal appearance. In these cultural elements, young people seem to live, move, and have their being. In fact, my own teenagers tell me that hardly anyone they know listens to anything but rock and country music. All this occurs among some of the most conservative Christians in the most conservative churches.

Although I am past forty, I remember what my peers and I once talked about. Yes, there were kids who were “into” appearance, culture, and popularity, but I could still find plenty who weren’t. Not so long ago, the youth who attended church together kept each other accountable for memorizing Scripture, sang hymns and visited in nursing homes, witnessed to passersby at community colleges or parks, and handed out tracts. However, today these activities are passé even in many conservative churches. They are also absent from the desires of many “Christian” teenagers. Over the past ten or twenty years, as the controversy over rock music in the church has largely died down, its prevalence has exploded to the point that few now even question whether any type of music could be harmful to our spiritual well-being.

The reasons why pop culture has so possessed our teenagers could fill volumes, as could the reasons for such differing views on what our Christian liberty permits. Rather than laying down a list of rules that would only invite argument, we’ll look at general principles that will guide us in shepherding our teenagers’ hearts as they interact with a decaying culture. In order to do this, we must step outside our culture and look at it as objectively as possible.

First, we must recognize that our society reeks of relativism when it comes to cultural judgments. Perhaps at no time in history before the Sixties generation did relativism so dominate the cultural conversation as it does today. If a work of art touches me in some way, then it must be pretty. If a piece of music “blesses” me, then it must be good music. If I don’t think I’m being harmed by what I see on screen, then the movie must be acceptable. Notice that in all these evaluations I am the point of reference, rather than an objective standard of truth or beauty.

Setting self as the standard for cultural judgments paves the way for decadence. As Ken Myers says, “As Christians, we insist that there are permanent standards for culture. Culture is the human effort to give structure to life. But human nature does not exist as a law unto itself” (All God’s Children and Blue Suede Shoes). Sadly, many Christians have abandoned their responsibility to fight cultural relativism and have fallen prey to their subjective views.

The ancients understood this concept better than we do. Aristotle believed that the purpose of education is to teach the student what he should like and what he should dislike. Such an education must teach what is beautiful and virtuous as well as what is ugly and evil in art, literature, and music. An Aristotelian view assumes the existence of standards of goodness and beauty beyond our own judgment:

[I]n rhythms and tunes there are likenesses particularly close to the genuine natures of anger and gentleness, and further of courage and moderation . . . and of the other things pertaining to character. This is clear from the facts: we are altered in soul when we listen to such things . (Aristotle, The Politics)

To paraphrase, good music—even apart from its lyrics—influences a person for good; bad music—even if its lyrics are good—influences him for evil. Plato’s Republic suggests this as well:

Musical training is a more potent instrument than any other, because rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul, on which they mightily fasten, imparting grace, and making the soul of him who is rightly educated graceful, or of him who is ill-educated ungraceful.

Plato thus taught that examining the music of a given individual or culture reveals spiritual temperature.

In contrast, most Christians today subscribe to the relativistic idea that music is amoral, with no inherent good or evil in tempo or combination of notes, only in lyrics. Hence the oxymoron: “Christian rap” or “Christian hip-hop.” Our inconsistencies betray us. Since most of us still believe that books can be anti-Christian and that a picture can be pornographic, why can’t we see that music itself is an art form, suggesting attitudes and bringing either good or evil to our souls? Can music that exudes emotions of violence and rebellion link arms with the Christian message?

Peter Kreeft, speaking to a modern college student through a Socratic character, says, “If music is a divine thing, it can become a demonic thing. It seems to me that you do an injustice and irreverence to the greatness of music by not allowing that it can ever be evil” (The Best Things in Life). Many cultures throughout history have believed that music bypasses the brain and speaks directly to the heart, shaping and molding emotions of gratitude or arrogance, gentleness or violence.

We must also realize the addictive nature of pop culture. Our world of instant gratification tells teenagers to have their fun and have it now. When I am hooked on sugar and refined foods, I gradually tend to want more and more of them and less and less of healthy foods. Vegetables and wholesome foods begin to appear bland and boring, and a few sweets lead to a sweet tooth. In contrast, when I abstain from sugar, real foods seem perfectly appealing. Junk food thus dulls our appetites to the pleasure of quality nourishment. The same happens in cultural exposure. Too much junk culture makes quality art and music seem dull and boring. Classical culture requires something of us: it requires us to grow. We must thus exert ourselves to enjoy it by avoiding cultural junk that destroys our appetites for quality alternatives and by focusing on the superior flavor of the genuinely beautiful, pure, and true.

Ken Myers lists the distinctions between pop culture and healthy culture this way:

Popular culture focuses on the new, discourages reflection, [is] pursued casually to “kill” time, gives us what we want, tells us what we already know, celebrates fame, appeals to sentimentality, relies on spectacle, tend[s] to violence and prurience, leaves us where it found us, reflects the desires of the self, tends toward relativism, [is] used. Healthy culture (traditional, high culture) by contrast, focuses on the timeless, encourages reflection, [is] pursued with deliberation, offers us what we could not have imagined, celebrates ability, appeals to appropriate, proportioned emotions, relies on formal dynamics and the power of symbol, transforms sensibilities, encourages understanding of others, tends toward submission to standards, [is] received.

Allan Bloom, professor at the University of Chicago, compares consumption of pop culture to drug addiction: “[Rock music] ruins the imagination of young people and makes it very difficult for them to have a passionate relationship to the art and thought that are the substance of liberal [arts] education” (The Closing of the American Mind). According to Bloom, rock music is like a drug that repeatedly induces an artificial emotional high until the burnt-out student finds it difficult to be enthusiastic or excited about life’s genuine pleasures. “Their energy is sapped, and they do not expect their life’s activity to produce anything but a living.” So, overdosed on pop culture, young people become jaded, losing the ability to enjoy life’s simple and wholesome pleasures.

Finally, and most importantly, Christians need to consider the true purpose of Christian liberty. Paul says that many things may be permissible, but not everything is constructive or beneficial (I Corinthians 6:12). Christians who fear legalism go to great lengths to enjoy their liberty, sometimes to the point of crossing boundaries and thereby damaging rather than edifying their spiritual lives. We must remember the Lord’s injunction: “Only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13b, NKJV). God gives us Christian liberty in order to free us to serve the cause of Christ. If a “liberty” causes us to be more worldly and shallow, less ministry-oriented, less heavenly minded, we have missed the boat.

Here, we find a good standard by which to measure our movies and music: does the work inspire an intense yearning for love, humility, submission, holiness, gentleness, and spiritual vitality? Does it make rebellion appear “cool” or repulsive? When we watched The Lord of the Rings as a family, we were challenged to the depths of our emotions to fight evil even when it seemed evil would win and to hold out hope when everything looked hopeless by obediently doing our part in our own life story.

Conversely, when we watched Pirates of the Caribbean, we were struck by the portrayal of a murdering, thieving pirate as a cool, fun guy who would fit perfectly into a teenage social clique. This kind of portrayal subtly wears our spirits down to the point where we minimize wrong and lose our repugnance toward evil. Myers reminds us, “[T]he erosion of character, the spoiling of innocent pleasures, and the cheapening of life itself that often accompany modern popular culture can occur so subtly that we believe nothing has happened.”

Therefore, my husband and I have come up with a checklist for evaluating the effects of popular culture on our teens:

• Does my teenager regard spiritual exercises (reading the Word, going to church) as dull and boring?
• Does my teen talk more about movies and music than spiritual things? Where is his/her heart?
• Does my teen disdain wholesome, simple fun as beneath him/her?
• Does he/she feel that he/she can only be communicated with through certain forms? (E.g., “This is my music. This is what speaks to me.”)
• Does my teen feel that popularity in a crowd that exalts pop culture is a must-have?
• Does the music my teen listens to exhibit irreverence or a casual attitude toward Christianity (not to mention sex or violence)?
• Does my teen disdain high culture in any way?
• Does my teen constantly push the boundaries, trying to go deeper and deeper into pop culture?
• Does pop culture significantly shape the way my teen dresses, acts, and talks?
• Does my teenager find rough, coarse, or rebellious people attractive?

f the answer to more than one or two of these is “yes,” the teenager’s heart has been drawn into the world. A fast from cultural junk food, along with lots of family discussion that prayerfully and intelligently evaluates art forms, can help purify his heart. We can minimize subjective judgment when we distance ourselves enough from the culture to evaluate it. The books quoted in this article can greatly enhance family studies.

Pastor John Piper relates that in his youth, the question many teenagers ask, “What is permissible?” paled, in his own mind, in comparison to the question, “How can I not waste my life?” (Don’t Waste Your Life). Teenagers need a cause beyond themselves to ward off the belief that entertainment and popular culture are the chief ends of life. Our teenagers should—and can be, with the right spiritual direction—consumed with godly cause. Even in this powerfully possessive culture, we can help our teenagers comprehend that their chief end is to glorify and serve God and enjoy Him in wholesome ways.

Selah Helms is a pastor’s wife and homeschooling mother of four. She has co-authored two books (Small Talks on Big Questions, volumes 1 and 2) that teach children the catechism using historical accounts. In a co-op setting, she studies through classic works with several other families.

Resources:

All God’s Children and Blue Suede Shoes by Ken Myers (Crossway, 1989).

The Best Things in Life by Peter Kreeft (InterVarsity Press, 1984).

The Closing of the American Mind by Allan Bloom (Simon & Schuster, 1987).

Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper (Crossway, 2003).

The Politics by Aristotle.

The Republic by Plato.

Human beings are worshippers. It follows then, that children are worshippers. We can almost hear someone say, “Not my children, Tedd and Margy, they fall asleep in church every week.”

But nonetheless, your children are worshippers. They have been created in the image of God. The world in which they live is designed to display the glory of God, and children—indeed, all human beings—are uniquely designed for worship. Like explorers driven to find distant shores, your sons and daughters go off every day in search of excitement, seeking an answer to the question, “Who or what is worth worshipping?”

The fact that human beings are hard-wired for worship is a unique aspect of our creation. It is the reason we love to hear a symphony or watch a juggler or marvel at an athletic feat. We love to be dazzled. It is the reason we watch sports on TV. Do you know that Antarctic penguins hold no diving competitions? They perform marvelous feats without color commentary or slow-motion replays. A brown bear grabs a salmon from the Columbia River, by any account an amazing feat of timing and coordination, and yet none of his fellow bears line the shore to applaud. Human beings do this sort of thing because human beings are uniquely designed for worship. Your kids love to be entranced by something amazing because they are instinctively worshippers.

Now, what happens when children who are designed for worship fail to worship the God in whose image they have been made? These children do not cease to be worshippers; they simply worship and serve something else. The apostle Paul speaks to this in Romans 1:25: “[ They] exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever” (NKJV).

This is what your children do; it is what all humanity does. If your children do not worship and serve God, they substitute something for God, worshipping and serving something in the creation instead. They manufacture an idol—a substitute for God.

These idols your children find are not small statues of wood or gold; they are much more subtle. Leaving a Chinese restaurant recently with two young granddaughters, I felt a tug on my coat. “Grandpa,” one asked, pointing to a large statue of Buddha in the corner, “who’s that fat man?” The question provided a wonderful opportunity to speak to the girls about idols.

The human heart creates so many idols:

Pride and performance. Some children will lay all at the altar of performance. They are driven. The joys of performance and the praises that attend excellence stimulate and impel them.

Power and influence. Other children exhibit a lust to control the people in their world. These are the organizers and arrangers. If the game is playing school, they will always be the teachers.

Pleasure and sensuality. You may have a thrill-seeker in your family. This is the child who constantly seeks the rush of exciting, heart-throbbing, and adrenalin-pumping experiences. He finds the joys of ordinary living boring.

Possessions. Some kids crave stuff. They pore through the catalogs that enter your home. They collect stuff; they polish stuff. When they leave the house, they want assurance that no one will touch their stuff while they are gone.

We could add to the list. People are endlessly creative when it comes to finding substitutes for God. Other idols include the fear of man, the desire for approval, the longing for friendship, or simply the consuming desire to be someone or have something that elicits the response “Cool!”

All of this brings me to my point: The most important job you have as a parent is to show the glory of God to your children, who are compulsively worshippers. Your kids are hard-wired for worship, but in their fallen state, they instinctively worship and serve created things rather than God. Psalm 145 talks about this when it says,

I will extol You, my God, O King; And I will bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you, And I will praise Your name forever and ever. Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; And His greatness is unsearchable. One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts. (Psalm 145:1-4, NKJV)

Your job is to be one generation commending the glory and excellence of God to the next generation. (See also Psalm 78:1-7.)

Help your children see that we find our greatest joys in the nearness of God rather than in fulfilling our appetites. “There are many who say, ‘Who will show us any good?’ LORD, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us. You have put gladness in my heart, More than in the season that their grain and wine increased” (Psalm 4:6-7, NKJV).

Show your thrill seekers that the lasting joys and pleasures that people crave are found in knowing God. “You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11, NKJV).

Illustrate for them that the greatest deliverance from adversity is not removal from difficulty (Psalm 27:1-3), but enjoying the beauty of the Lord. “One thing I have desired of the LORD, That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD All the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD, And to inquire in His temple” (Psalm 27:4, NKJV).

Other Psalms to which you may turn to underscore the joys and delights of being entranced by God are Psalm 36:5-9, 63:1-5, 73:25-26, 81:10-16, and 96:1-6.

Why is this so important?

1. Your kids do not merely exist amidst the facts and circumstances of their lives. They interpret everything that happens around them, and their interpretation determines how they respond. The key to correctly interpreting life is the being and glories of the God for whom they are made. If they are worshiping and serving idols, they will never accurately interpret the circumstances of life.

2. Since you love your kids and desire their happiness, you will always be tempted to feed their idols. Many parents do just that. They fill their children’s lives with stuff and take delight in their children’s delight in possessions. Yet they cling to the hope that someday their children will see that life is not found in possessions, but in knowing God. Resist the temptation to polish your children’s idols.

3. The Christian life begins with glory. “For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ” (2 Corinthians 4:6, NKJV). The Christian life continues and grows as we behold God’s glory. “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord” (2 Corinthians 3:18, NKJV).

Perhaps the best thing you can do for your children is to go before God, behold His glory, and then move toward them with the encouragement that they have been created for a great and glorious God who longs to bring them abundant life.

Tedd Tripp is the senior pastor of Grace Fellowship Church, Hazleton, Pennsylvania. He and Margy have been married since 1968, and they have three adult children and six grandchildren. Tedd holds a B.A. in History from Geneva College, M.Div. from Philadelphia Theological Seminary, and D.Min. with an emphasis in Pastoral Counseling from Westminster Theological Seminary. He is the author of the popular childrearing book Shepherding a Child’s Heart (Shepherd Press, 1995).

In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. (1 Timothy 2:9-10, NKJV)

“But it doesn’t matter what I wear!” Sarah scoffed. “God sees my heart!” Sarah finished putting on her lipstick while Hannah tried in vain to reason with her old friend.

“Yes, God sees your heart,” Hannah explained, “but nobody else does—especially boys—they see that.” Hannah swept her hand in front of Sarah’s revealing outfit. “Don’t you see? They’re too distracted by what you’re wearing to notice you.”

“But that’s my point! I don’t care if boys notice me or not.” Hannah smiled coyly. “I just care what God thinks, and He can see my heart.”

Hannah sighed, “My mom always says that whatever is in our hearts will eventually show up on the outside—in what we wear, how we carry ourselves, what we say, how we treat others, and . . .”

“Okay, okay, I get your point.” Sarah tugged at her skirt, which suddenly seemed shorter than ever before. She wasn’t in any mood to listen to her friend today. Lately, Hannah seemed to have become more and more legalistic, and her comments were really beginning to irritate Sarah.

Sarah continued applying another layer of mascara and turned to her friend in exasperation. “Look, Hannah, I’m glad you’re so concerned about my soul and all, but I don’t see things the way you do. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what I’m wearing, and I don’t think God does either. I’m just dressing like everybody else. Besides, if a guy lusts, that’s his problem!” Sarah nervously buttoned another button on her blouse. “So please stop judging me!”

Changing Our Culture for Christ

Have you ever had a conversation like this? Many people believe that we should draw our modesty standards from what is commonly worn in our particular culture or era. Of course, if that were entirely true, we could also say that if we were born in a remote jungle where everyone walked around nude, then we, as jungle Christians, could also forego clothing. Another problem with this type of thinking is that God intends Christians to be dominion takers—people who influence our culture for Christ rather than the other way around.

Consider the popular clothing styles, the slang, and even the liberal moral trends followed by a huge portion of our society. Much of what we see comes directly from Hollywood actors, television icons, and pop music stars. Instead of being a people set apart (Proverbs 23:17), the Church sadly reflects this same tendency.

Therefore “Come out from among them And be separate,” says the Lord. “Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters,”says the Lord Almighty. Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. (2 Corinthians 6:17-7:1, NKJV)

If we visit almost any church youth group, we will see young ladies who speak, walk, dress, and flirt exactly like the daughters of the heathen. This has resulted from our love of and conformity to the world, a condition that the Church largely fails to recognize. Christians must be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29), and our uniqueness should be evident to the world.

Today’s young people have turned from the influence of their parents and grandparents (Proverbs 7:1-2) and embraced instead the persuasive tactics of the ungodly. Imitation is called the highest form of flattery—we tend to imitate those we esteem and want to emulate. If we imitate the world, exactly what do we communicate? “ Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God” (3 John 11, NKJV).

If It Feels Good, Wear It?

Others take a relativistic approach to modesty. These women believe that if they feel modest in their clothing, that’s all that matters—and too bad for the poor guy sitting in the church pew behind them! We need to remember that when it comes to obeying God, feelings are irrelevant. Scripture, not our personal, creative moral standard, must be our authority.

If Scripture teaches us that we are to dress in “modest apparel” (1 Timothy 2:9), then there must be immodest apparel as well. We know from Proverbs 7:10 that the adulterous woman seduced her lover with flattery and the “ attire of a harlot.” What does this mean?

Although God doesn’t give us fashion specifics or sewing patterns, He clearly states that we are to dress and behave modestly. He has created us distinctively female and has instructed us throughout Scripture to be chaste. What, then, does chastity require?

Chastity Communicates Christ

Chastity before marriage reflects both purity of the body and a wholesome thought life. A chaste young woman will not flaunt her body or flirt with young men. Instead, she is adorned by her modest demeanor and discreet speech. Rather than focusing on “how far” she can go, she guards even her thoughts by concentrating on her relationship with Christ and faithfulness to her future husband.

After marriage, a woman reflects chastity through her faithfulness to the purity of the marriage bed—both literally and as reflected in speech and attitude. A chaste wife delights in her husband, happily reserving her body for him. Her speech is wholesome, she is not idle, and she refrains from activities that would compromise her own or her husband’s reputation. Chastity, in other words, is a way of life, the essence of who we are as Christian women. “That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5, NKJV).

A chaste woman guards her reputation (the way she is regarded or perceived by others) by making certain never to portray herself falsely as tainted or impure. Such an unholy picture would bring shame upon the name of Christ, herself, and her husband or father. Scripture tells us that this literally “blasphemes the word of God” (Titus 2:5) by inviting the heathen to believe a lie about His power and holiness.

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines the word blaspheme this way: “To speak of the Supreme Being in terms of impious irreverence; to revile or speak reproachfully of God, or the Holy Spirit.” If the world looks at the way we dress or behave and sees impurity, we have failed to communicate Christ in a “pious” or “reverent” way. This in turn allows the world to “speak reproachfully” of our most holy God.

Certainly, many of today’s seemingly unchaste Christian women do not intentionally blaspheme God through their dress or actions. Instead, they have so immersed themselves in modern culture that they have become blind to the pure, the lovely, and the good. Most of us, desensitized since childhood by the media and peer influences, find it difficult to differentiate between that which is pure and good and that which is nothing more than whitewashed filth.

Therefore, we must diligently search out the principles in Scripture that apply to modesty, chastity, and femininity, and be willing to conform cheerfully to what we learn—no matter how much we love those old jeans or how “cute” we find that new skirt!

Christians have mimicked the heathen for so long—copying their fashions, borrowing their educational and social philosophies, conforming to their dating format, and adopting their dialect—that we do not even recognize the loss of our Christian identity. We have worn the costume and spoken the language of the world for so long that we no longer recognize ourselves. Unfortunately, neither does anyone else.

If the Church does not reform its thinking to line up with Scripture, what hope do we have for change? If Christian women do not begin to consistently communicate biblical beauty, femininity, and modesty, how will our culture understand and appreciate the delicate appeal and power of virtuous womanhood?

Instead of mirroring the behavior or appearance of the latest pop star, Christian young women can show our culture a better alternative —one that is wholesome, pure, and lovely. Through our clothing, speech, behavior, and conversation, we have the opportunity to reveal to the world a beautifully honest picture of the holiness and purity of Christ.

The following discussion questions are excerpted from Raising Maidens of Virtue: A Study of Feminine Loveliness for Mothers and Daughters.

1. Have you ever thought about what you look like from behind—how tight or sheer your clothing is? Ask your mother to stand behind you and watch you walk. Ask her if she thinks you swing your hips or swagger.

2. How is modesty a heart issue? Discuss ways that heart issues show up in our actions.

3. When you walk up a flight of stairs, what do men behind you see? What types of clothing would be the most modest in this situation?

4. Have you ever worn a long, flowing skirt or dress? How did it make you feel? How did others view you? Did it properly cover your private areas with no problem?

5. Do you wear skirts that have slits that are cut higher than you would actually wear your skirt? What happens when you walk or sit? What happens on a windy day?

6. Is your clothing modest to the people who are sitting behind you in church? Ask your mother or a wise female friend to stand behind you while you bend over to pick up a book. Now do the same with them standing in front of you. What did she see? What would your father think?

7. Raise your hands high above your head. Does your tummy show? You may think, “I’ll never be walking around with my hands above my head,” but this is a good all-around test. I’ve seen young ladies in blouses that seemed modest until they bent over to pick up a toddler or had to reach up high on a shelf.

8. How low is your neckline? Look in the mirror while holding onto your knees. Do you see cleavage? If so, everyone else does too! If you are fuller in the chest area, you may need to be more careful of certain fabrics. Sweaters, knits, and the newer “stretchy” fabrics tend to cling and accentuate the bust line, and tops that are too large fall open easily.

9. Be aware of where others’ eyes may be drawn. You want them to look at your face, not other parts of your body, while they are talking to you. Avoid garments that hug areas which should be kept private.

10. Would you feel naked wearing your nightgown or undergarments into a courtroom or church? What would your pastor and his wife think if you invited them over to supper, then answered the door in your underwear? Would they be shocked? Why do many of us think it is acceptable then to invite fellow Christians over for a pool party where everyone is wearing “colored underwear”? Discuss your answer with your mother (Romans 12:2).

11. Discuss how we have been conditioned by the world to accept public nakedness, all in the name of recreation and fun—or even Christian liberty. How should we change our thinking? (1Peter 1:14)

12. Talk about how someone can be dressed modestly from head to toe and still reveal an immodest demeanor.

Read Proverbs 7:10-11 and Proverbs 31:22, 25.

13. Look up the following words in the dictionary. Discuss with your mother how they might apply to immodesty:

Conceit
Haughtiness
Egocentric
Ostentatious
What is the root sin of each of these offenses?
14. Read all of Proverbs chapter 7. Do you see what could be described as the “attire of a harlot” in the styles offered in most department stores today? What do you think is meant by “her feet abide not in her house?” Was the woman described in Proverbs 7 modest? Was she focused on serving her husband and her household faithfully or on gratifying herself? Men tend to sin by lusting after women, while women tend to sin by lusting to be lusted after. Lust is the very opposite of love because it takes instead of gives.
15. If a maiden knowingly exposes private parts of her body or wears clothing that may incite lust in a young man, then she is acting selfishly. Again, this is the opposite of what Scripture describes as love. Do you think the Proverbs 7 woman loved the young man she enticed? Do you think she enjoyed flaunting her body? Have you ever chosen an outfit because you thought it might get the attention of a boy? Pray about your answer. Discuss the selfish motives behind choosing your wardrobe this way.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

16. Are you dressing for the approval of man or God? Is your goal to impress or attract others or to be pleasing to God and to glorify Him? Be honest!

You may contact Stacy with questions or comments by . You can also visit Stacy’s blog at www.yoursacredcalling.blogspot.com. Be sure to check out her book, Raising Maidens of Virtue: A Study of Feminine Loveliness for Mothers and Daughters, available through www.booksonthepath.com or www.visionforum.com.

It is not fun to fall. When we fall, we usually hurt ourselves. Other times, we might hurt others. Worst of all, when we fall we may bring shame to the name of Christ.

These truths have been on my heart for a number of months. Since we discovered that we did not have the resources to continue printing our dream publication, Family Reformation magazine, I felt like a man who had fallen.

As the publisher, the captain at the helm, I felt the sinking pain of failure. My inability to continue delivering what was promised weighed heavily upon my heart. Family Reformation magazine was our attempt to bring biblical truth to families around the nation searching for real answers—and the desire to set sail and deliver has been a steady longing.

Even so, we have not abandoned ship! God is bringing new vision and blowing fresh wind into the sails of this vessel. Family Reformation magazine is about to launch again! But this time, instead of paper and ink, we will be sailing the far reaching waves of the Internet.

Our prayer is that in this form, a web based publication, Family Reformation magazine will be able to minister to many more homes and hearts. And that the Lord will be pleased with the results. In addition to the new articles and messages, we also plan to republish many of our old articles from our original ministry, the Patriarch’s Path.

These new articles will take time to put together – and our format will be a bit clumsy until we get some web design help! But stay with us. Pray for us. And please forgive us for the delays we have experienced.

A righteous man may fall, but if God wills it, he can rise again. May this be true of Family Reformation magazine as well, and may God’s power and grace sustain our ship!

A basic family tradition is memorizing Scripture. Your family can do this together—easily. Choose a Bible passage such as the Twenty-Third Psalm, and choose a time. Family devotions are an ideal setting for this tradition. Otherwise, choose breakfast or another meal that you share together. Even car time will work for some families with a regular driving schedule.

The Best Memory Method

To begin, you all simply recite the psalm together. Those who read may use their Bibles. Children who do not read follow as best they can, listening or saying some parts as they trail along behind. That is all for day one. The following days are similar. The goal is that in three months or so, all who are old enough will know the psalm by heart. Even the very youngest children gain in many ways, whether or not they actually memorize.

This method of memorizing is called the “whole method.” When you learn a passage this way, you end up able to recite smoothly through it all, just as you recite smoothly through the alphabet without stopping to think which letter comes next. You also learn faster with less work by using this whole method. Research documents the results of the whole method: memorizing is more efficient, takes less total time, and produces better memory results.

Most people commonly use the “part method” for memorizing extended passages. This means learning one verse, then adding the next, and so forth. This takes longer, and the result is usually a less smooth recitation, as they sometimes pause to think which verse comes next.

As you recite the psalm each day, the children who read will gradually quit following in their Bibles, or you may need to suggest that they look up from their Bible pages when they can. Occasionally you might check that a child correctly pronounces a word like righteousness. Answer questions the children have about meaning, but it is not necessary to study the psalm while memorizing it. Some books for Sunday school teachers say, “Be sure the children understand the verse before they memorize it.” This is useless advice. When do any of us fully understand a Scripture? Children can just as well memorize first and learn the meaning more fully as they grow older.

Continue reciting daily until you have not just learned a passage, but overlearned it. Then review on a diminishing schedule. For instance, for one or two months recite the passage once a week (instead of the new passage you are starting to learn). Then review once a month. Eventually, once a year will be sufficient. There is no specific rule about this schedule. The length of a passage, the amount of overlearning, and other variables all affect this, so adjust as you see a need for more review or less. The principle of a diminishing need for review will continue to apply.

If your family learns three or four passages a year—or even just two—these add up to considerable Scripture for your children to carry in their hearts wherever life may take them—to legislative halls or to enemy prison camps, to their future families or to fellow workers. After some passages of six or fewer verses, your family may feel brave enough to tackle a longer passage, perhaps a full chapter.

The Best Bible Version for Memorizing

From what version should you memorize? This question is unique to our day. A few decades ago almost everyone in the English-speaking world used the King James Version (KJV), so the question was not relevant. When new versions became popular, they largely brought a halt to congregations memorizing or reciting Scripture together. But your family can decide on a version and proceed to hide the Word in your hearts. *

Some recent research has shown that children memorize the KJV more easily than modern versions. This news surprises most people. A major reason for this ease of memory has to do with cadence or rhythm. The English language has developed a rhythm of stresses that good writers are aware of, if only subconsciously. They move words around to sound better, even if they are writing prose and not poetry. The second Wycliffe version worked on cadence and William Tyndale followed that plan, insisting that his Bible be suitable for reading aloud. Others followed Tyndale in this. It is said that the KJV translators spent two years working on cadence. Compare:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want (KJV).

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall lack nothing (NIV).

Power in English language comes from the pressure of rhythm, which also aids memory. Short words are a factor in this. In the KJV, one-syllable words outnumber longer words by two and one-half to one, that is, 250 percent. Latin multisyllable words with their inflections of prefixes and suffixes could not have such impressive cadence as English. Tyndale said that the English language agrees with the Hebrew one thousand times more than Latin does. He also concluded that English captures the quality of New Testament Greek better than Latin does, even the polished Latin of St. Jerome.

In the Bible lines quoted above, not want is changed to lack nothing. This apparently is an effort to modernize the language, but it misses the fact that we currently use want as an intransitive verb, a verb that does not need an object. One dictionary gives this example: “She would never allow her parents to want.” Maybe the translators knew this but thought that most of us do not, or that we would not look it up in a dictionary, or that we could not learn the meaning from the psalm itself. Whatever the translators thought in this case, such a technique shows up in the introduction to one translation, which states that most people do not understand word x so they used word y. As for cadence, the KJV sentence ends with the stressed syllable want. Poets call that a masculine ending because it has more force than an unstressed feminine ending like nothing. So what looks at first glance like a simple word change is not so simple after all. It gains nothing in meaning, and it loses power in its cadence.

Likewise, we gain no meaning by changing still waters to quiet waters, as some newer versions do in this psalm. Still and quiet are synonymous in English reference books. Each word defines the other. A number of words like calm and tranquil are listed as synonyms for both. Besides gaining no meaning by changing the word, we lose in the sound and rhythm of those lines. Linguists might explain that the progression from a shorter vowel in still to a longer vowel in waters contributes to the calm effect, but the harsh q intrudes on the calmness. This same vowel progression, along with consonant alliteration, is in the still, small voice Elijah hears in the KJV. Recent versions change that to a gentle whisper or sound of a gentle blowing (1 Kings 19:12). Readers and memorizers do not need to understand the phonetic technicalities; they can appreciate the differences regardless. Whatever else we gain by new Bible versions, we can see with linguist historians that power has been progressively weakened in translations after the KJV.

Another option for helping children memorize is to update just the pronouns and verbs. This is not changing to different words, but only updating the older English words. Examples of pronoun updates are thy to your, thou to you. Verb updates include maketh to makes, art to are. The New King James Version does this, making it more modern, but less musical. Lovers of the King James Bible wonder if the trade-off is worth it.

Whatever version you decide to use, your family will be richer for following a tradition of memorizing. Imagine what this can add to future family reunions. Young grandchildren can join or listen with awe as you all recite Bible passages together.

*This article focuses specifically on language attributes that affect memory. For a discussion of other issues concerning English Bible translations, see Henry M. Morris, “A Creationist’s Defense of the King James Bible” at http://www.icr.org/bible/kjv.htm.

Dr. Ruth Beechick has a shelf full of books on memory research, which she does not refer to anymore. If she wants to know anything she just asks her sons; they have outpaced everything in the books. They are grateful for their early family start in memorizing. Beechick’s books for homeschoolers include information on memory and many other aspects of learning.

Bible Passages for Memorizing

Make your own selections or choose some from this list. You can shorten most of these or, in some cases, extend to make a longer portion. (My son Allen, who learned all these as a child and many whole books as a teen, says Psalm 34 is his favorite. At age 8 he recited Isaiah 53 with its big words, and said, “I like the words of the Bible; they sound so good.”)

Psalms 1, 8, 19, 23, 24, 34, 100

Exodus 20:1-17, Ten Commandments

Joshua 1:7-9, meditate on the book

Proverbs 8:22-31, wisdom speaks (Christ himself)

Proverbs 15:1-6, soft answer

Isaiah 53:1-6 (or the whole chapter), Man of sorrows

Matthew 5:3-12, Beatitudes

Matthew 5:19-24, treasures in Heaven

Luke 2:1-7 (or to 16 or 20), Christmas story

John 1:1-14, the Word became flesh

John 3:14-18, God so loved the world

John 14:1-4 (or to 14), mansions in the Father’s house

Romans 1:14-15 (or to 20 or farther), not ashamed of the Gospel

I Corinthians 13, love

Ephesians 2:8-10, saved by grace

Philippians 4:4-8, rejoice

James 1:22-25, doers of the Word